Co-sleeping, To co-sleep or not to co-sleep…? This is the question.
The more westernized the country becomes, the lonelier. So, of course in our country it is a big no-no to co-sleep or bed share. I am not a doctor, I am a therapist, and essentially an anthropologist. Everything we do is embedded in the context of our culture, i.e. brainwashing. We do this, because humans are social animals, and we would rather be brainwashed than isolated. Isolation, especially in tribal times, was incredibly dangerous. It still is.
We are brainwashed into the idea of marriage, which initially was simply a business contract between two men where a woman was considered property, indentured servitude. We are brainwashed into monogamy. Maybe it is the correct course of action, but it is not actually how our bodies are designed. We are brainwashed into the school system. Schools were initially established to acclimate a person to the factory work day. There were major protests when schools became required, not learning, but schooling which in many cases is entirely different. Think about the geniuses who never had formal schooling. The real Good Will Hunting guy never went to school and taught himself math. This is one example, amongst hundreds.
Because our culture brainwashes us, when our intuition rises we have to work incredibly hard to continue to listen to it.
The worst is when our intuition clashes with the predominant values and mores of the culture we were born into. In other words, if you intuitively feel better co-sleeping, then go for it. If you do not, then don’t. If you take any drugs, including sedatives, or drink or combine the two, do not co-sleep. It is very difficult to not be aware of your baby.
I co-slept with my baby. I even let my baby sleep on her tummy, after I was advised that it is okay, by a leading expert: one of my dearest friends who had all four of her kids sleep on their tummies. In the anxious state I was in, I watched my daughter like a hawk while she slept on her tummy, but ultimately it was good for her. Doctors do not know why SIDS happens. My baby sleeping on her tummy allowed her to sleep deeper and build those tummy muscles. Tummy time was a breeze. I am not saying to do what I did. According to doctors, it is not advised. What I am emphasizing, emphatically, is to listen to your intuition.
The one and only time I will every quote Jewel, but she has a point: “Follow your heart, your intuition. It will lead you in the right direction.”